Last posts on Baby

Time for another update....and I invented a word.

2008-08-29T04:40:00+02:00

This month has been an interesting one. There was nothing of note until the Olympics started. Dan and Nicole were in Michigan on vacation and came to visit Brian and I and watch the opening ceremonies with us. It was so fun to see them again and just be goofy. They crashed at our place and we spent Saturday morning eating donuts and playing video games - classic.

The next few days are a blur of Olympic activity. We don't have all the fancy channels on cable, so we had to make do with whatever NBC was showing, but it was fun. A couple of girls from the college group came by to hang out for an afternoon, too, so that was fun. Brian loves that they like to play Goldeneye so he has the N64 hooked up next to the GameCube and the Wii now so it's always ready to go.

My wonderful friend, Amber, is also embarking on a new journey - grad school in Indiana. I'm so stinkin' proud of her!!! She's going to rock the linguistics department there and I'm honored that I got to go with her to see the school back in April. I got a chance to hang out with her one more time before she left this month. I drove to Saginaw to see her and Nicole and for the three Musketeers to spend time together again.

I got to Saginaw to see them and was totally surprised!! Dan was there with Nicole and Amber and they had decorated Amber's apartment and they threw me a surprise baby shower!!!!!!!! It was just the four of us hanging out (poor Brian had to work) but they spared no expense - a banner, streamers, generous gifts and a cake!! Dan even picked out the cake and I'm so proud of him for doing it. I'll post pictures when I can. I was shocked, but so happy that they cared. With everyone scattering to the four winds, it's nice that they got to be a part of the pre-baby festivities. Who would've thought that of the three of us girls, I would be the one settling down in Michigan while Amber and Nicole are off in different states - different time zones, even! After the shower, Dan left so us girls could hang out and we went to lunch together and then back to Nicole's parents' house to hang out some more (with Dan) before I had to get back home.

It was such a great time with framily - no, that's not a typo. It's my new word: Family and Friends that are Family are Framily. Nicole and Amber have been my Framily for a very long time - before I met Brian and before Nicole met Dan and before we graduated college and had to start pretending to be grown-ups. I have other framily, too, that are also wonderful people and so important to me. Friends might come and go, but framily is forever.

So after that we were back to the routine of Olympics. I didn't blog about this Olympics as I did with some previous ones, but I was still equally excited and still continue to suffer from Olympics-Tourettes. I don't mean to belittle those that actually suffer from Tourettes, but I have my uncontrollable screaming at the TV during anything Olympics. My favorite moment was actually one of Brian's moments of screaming at the TV....the announcers of the women's beach volleyball were going on and on about the kinesio tape on Kerry Walsh's shoulder and some of the other athletes. Brian has been using this special tape and taping technique in his clinic (and on me) for a while now and knows quite a bit about it. In fact, my mom called to tell me how she and my dad were excited to see "Brian Tape" on the athletes, because they couldn't remember the name of it. Anyways, one of the announcers made a comment about the differently colored tapes out there and Brian started shouting from the kitchen: "Different sizes are different colors! If you're going to talk about it, at least get it right!" There was more to his shouting, but that's what I remember and it was funny.

In baby news, everything seems to be going well and the doctor tells me at every appointment that I'm healthy and baby is healthy. We finally did our gift registries. Our main one is at Target, but we did a few things at Babies R Us. We might do a few small things at Walmart, too, because that's the main store here in town. I hate to sound like I'm snotty and complaining, because I don't mean to be...but there's something about registries that I just don't like. I mean, I'm telling people exactly what we'd like and what we need, but yet I'm still completely out of control. I'm not a complete control freak, but I have my issues, and this is one of them. It's just hard because - like with a wedding registry - we know our style and what we already have and so on and we've done our research on everything. But what's intensified with a baby is everyone on the planet's opinion and their desire to share their opinion with you - good or bad. Yes, I understand that we didn't register for some things that other parents have that they insist everyone needs. But, not everyone knows what we already have, what our house is like, what we're like, what our parenting philosophy is or will be (we're still discovering that) and so forth and so on. I love getting advice when I ask for it. I loathe getting advice when I don't. I do have wonderful friends that have been supportive and told me where they found bargains, etc. and I love the advice that we got before we registered because it really was helpful. I don't mean to sound ungrateful at all; it's just a control issue, I guess.

In non-baby news, there's been some changes and there's going to be even more changes coming soon to our home. Brian's clinic had to cut a staff member for budget reasons and while we are eternally grateful that Brian gets to keep his job, things are going to change for his shift. It already started with moving him back to working later in the day - which isn't so bad because he's home in time for dinner. But, it looks like that's only going to be the case for about another month or so. Nothing is definite - so don't quote me here - but it looks like there's a good possibility he'll be moving to a 4 day work week. It's not up to him, but if it was, he wouldn't do it (and I don't quite like the idea of it, either). Because while we would be getting 3 day weekends, it's the other 4 days that will stink. A 10 hour day isn't so bad, but when you add almost an hour commute on either end, it really sucks up all your time. Again, this wouldn't be so bad if he got to pick his hours, but he has little to no say in when he starts or stops his shift. Most likely he will be out of the house from 9am to 9pm or thereabouts (again, nothing is definite yet and we may not know the definite schedule for a while). Now, while it's still just the two of us...not the end of the world. Even with me going to bed early and getting up early for subbing, it's not that bad - we did something similar for a year when we were first married. However, when the baby comes, that means that there will be 4 days of the week that I'm alone all afternoon and evening without him there to help me or even just to talk to to encourage me. And Brian won't get a lot of time with the baby those days of the week, either.

I'm trying hard to focus on the positives here. Brian has a great job that he loves - there's nothing else in his field he'd rather be doing and it's not exactly easy for him to change jobs, either. We are blessed that he even has a job and that that job gives us insurance. But, it still stinks. I'm allowed to think it stinks.

Baby Update

2008-08-06T03:36:38+02:00

We're halfway through the pregnancy! It's an exciting and slightly overwhelming thought that it's August and the baby will be here in December! Wow. Time has flown by so fast, it's incredible!

Brian felt the baby moving for the first time last Friday. He was so excited and I was thrilled for him!! The look on his face was priceless - something I'll remember forever! I feel the baby moving a few times a day, but he's been able to feel at least once a day. I love it. He'll talk to the baby and I love spending time just sitting with him and his hand on my stomach.

Today was our big ultrasound for the anatomy. If we had wanted to find out the gender, this would have been the time. But, the baby listened when we told him or her to keep their little legs crossed - we couldn't have seen the gender even if we wanted to. I'm glad that we didn't go in there hoping to find out because we would have just been disappointed. This way, there was no disappointment, only anticipation. The baby is healthy. The ultrasound tech used the word "perfect" quite a bit. The health of the baby is the most important thing, and knowing that it's healthy is wonderful news.

We tried to get a clear shot of the face with the 3-D imaging, but the baby wouldn't cooperate (must get it's shyness from Dad ;) ). It's little hands were up near it's face most of the time (like a boxer's stance). The baby moved quite a bit, flipping all over and rolling and it was fun to see our little one moving all over the place. We were able to count the 10 little fingers and 10 little toes on the two little arms and two little feet that have been battering me from the inside out! I'm getting used to the thumping, actually, but it will still take my breath away once in a while. Sometimes the baby will roll so fast that I feel like I'm losing my stomach like on a roller coaster!

We're making progress on getting the second bedroom turned into the nursery. Again, when I say "we" I really mean Brian. The computer is moved and most of the junk has been filtered out to the basement or attic or to the part of the house where it actually belongs.

We made a preliminary trip to some stores to see about registering. It's a little overwhelming to think about all the little things we need (not to mention the big things)! We found the stuff we want for the nursery (classic Winnie-the-Pooh set) and now we're just trying to make other decisions. My sister has already been sending things that I might need - a little feeding kit with everything to get me started. She also gave the baby his or her first outfit - a yellow onesie and pants set with a matching bib. It has a duck face on the butt - which Brian loves. If you know his sense of humor, you'll understand why he thinks it's funny to have babies wear things with ducks on the butt (think about noises babies tend to make a lot!). Even with some hand-me-downs from family it just seems like we'll never get everything we need. With setting up our house it seemed so easy because we could always get something whenever we needed it. Somehow it seems so much more overwhelming with a baby! I think I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed if we had family members nearby. They'll visit when the baby is born and during the following weeks, but that's different from having someone close by that can be there anytime.

Overall, life is good here. We're gearing up for the college group / young adult group we lead to start again in the fall. We had a break from the praise team at our church and Brian is so glad to be back at that. I've decided to step down from the team because it's getting too hard to drum with my stomach sticking out the way it is now, so our break from the team was a natural transition. I'm now his personal roadie and I run sound during practices. Brian's work schedule may be changing sometime in the near future, but we're just waiting to see what's decided.

Oh - AND THE OLYMPICS START THIS WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm such a freak - I love the Olympics!!!!! They are my favorite thing about sports and they are one of the greatest things that humans have created. So, everyone will know where to find me for the next two weeks - screaming and cheering at my TV and waving my American and Russian flags!!

Brian's First Daddy's Day

2008-06-16T18:10:00+02:00

Yesterday was Brian's first Father's Day as a dad-to-be. We started the morning off with his gifts - he kept wanting to open them earlier in the weekend and I had to persuade him to wait until Sunday! So, the baby got him a new Tigers baseball hat - which was the one thing he asked for. Then, the baby got a bib (the first bib!) that has the Tigers' logo and "Little Detroit Tigers Fan" on it. Brian and I think that little girls look cute in sports stuff and it doesn't have to be pink so Brian was very excited about the bib! And I got him a video game he really wanted (it may be Father's Day, but he's still Brian). We also went to a Chinese buffet for lunch because that's always Brian's favorite!

I also got him a card that sums up Brian's attitude about the baby perfectly. It shows a guy trying to play catch, but no one is there, so he keeps walking to the ball, turning, and throwing it to no one again. On the inside it says, "You really can't wait to be a dad, can you?" Now, I'm definitely the more sentimental of the two of us (no surprise there, right?) but this card was one that Brian really loved and he put it on the mantle and kept looking at it all morning.

Life here has gotten pretty quiet since school got out. I'm not working for the summer - but after our vacation in July I might try to find something small to do. We're very excited about our vacation! Since the first week of our honeymoon, we haven't had a vacation that wasn't just visiting family at their house (which we love to do and it's actually how we spent the second week of our honeymoon). In July we're going with Brian's brother, Steve, and his family and Brian's dad and Patti to Virginia Beach for a week! We have a beach house there that's close to the beach and other water. Even though I'm nervous about going and being 5 months pregnant on vacation - I'm a wuss about heat and getting sunburned and I'm worried I won't be any fun. But, I'm sure we'll have fun once we get there.

As for a pregnancy update......I'm officially in my SECOND TRIMESTER!! The time has really flown by! It's hard to believe!! The morning sickness (well, "random time of the day sickness" for me) stopped a few weeks ago, but I'm still overly sensitive to certain smells or tastes. I haven't had any strange cravings that lasted a while. Well, the last few days I was fantasizing about hot wings and so Brian got me two big bags from the store to make at home. I polished off 2/3 of the bag myself of Saturday (Brian ate the rest) and I have another bag to get me through this week. I still get little cravings - like one day I wanted sour cream really badly and we were planning on eating lunch out of the house anyways so we got Taco Bell so I could have something with sour cream on it. That was enough to make me happy.

We have decided that we don't want to find out the gender of the baby before he or she is born. We've talked about all the pros and cons each way and we've even done some preliminary window shopping to see what decorating and newborn clothing options are available in gender neutral stuff. We decided that hearing together in the delivery room - not just on an ultrasound that may or may not be 100% accurate - will be a wonderful moment that the two of us will share.

We have also picked out names - but we're NOT sharing what those are. We actually have quite a few second and third options that we've agreed on, too, so I hope we get to have more kids! We decided not to share the names we've chosen because - good or bad - everyone has an opinion. And, frankly, I really don't care what anyone else's opinion is. My family knows the names we've considered but, other than that, it's our little secret and we love it.

So, here's the obligatory first belly picture. These were taken at 11 weeks and I've popped out a little more since then. The shirt I'm wearing makes me look a little bigger than I actually am, and I'll try to get some more recent ones taken soon.

My First Mother's Day

2008-06-02T23:40:00+02:00

First, these are the flowers Brian got me when we first found out about the baby:

And these are the flowers from some of the girls in the College Group when Brian told them I was "sick" - they figured out I was pregnant before we said anything:

Second, my Mother's Day celebration as a soon-to-be mommy began the day before Mother's Day with even more flowers from Brian!

Brian said the single pink carnation was from the baby - the rest were from him.

Saturday, Brian took me out to the movies to see "Baby Mama" - we both love Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and it was so much fun!

Sunday, I got my gifts from Brian and the baby in the morning before church. The baby has great taste already (and excellent penmenship in the card, I must say) and gave me a charm for my Italian charm bracelet that says "I {heart} my mom". So, even when I was dealing with morning sickness, I could remember that the baby loves me even when it makes me sick.

Brian got me this:

After church on Sunday, Brian took me out for a huge meal of anything I wanted at Applebee's! I was so happy!

In the Beginning...

2008-05-07T19:37:37+02:00

April 1, 2008 - Brian and I waited and waited...for two whole minutes. Finally, it seemed clear....faint, barely detectable, but clear. A second pink line forming a beautiful little plus sign. Our lives changed in an instant....we're going to be parents!! Brian hugged me, kissed me and headed off for work. I sat down in shock.

The positive test came one year to the day from our first negative test. The majority of that year was spent seeing different doctors about my blood sugar (pre-Type-2 Diabetes) and getting it under control - once it was fine it was only 3 months before our beautiful little plus sign. But we felt the emotional toll of that entire year...feeling like a failure, feeling broken.

That night, we didn't talk much. I think we were both in shock. Brian had had to go to work right after seeing the positive test and I spent the day in a daze, checking the test over and over to see if it was still positive....it was. Because the line was very light, Brian suggested trying one of the other brands of tests I had. See, after a year I had stockpiled quite the supply of home pregnancy tests of all different shapes and sizes.

April 2, 2008 - This time, we were a little more relaxed while we waited...trying to make casual conversation in the kitchen after Brian got home from work and the timer ticked down the seconds. We went into the bathroom to look at the most sophisticated piece of technology I would ever...ahem, you know...on. There it was - clear as day: "Pregnant". No doubting our eyes this time!! No thinking we were wishing something into existence...it was there! Pregnant! Brian held me for a long time...we were both trembling a little as the reality set in. This was really happening!! So much to do, so much to think about!!

April 3, 2008 - I called my ob/gyn and set up my first appointment for the end of April and made an appointment that day with my regular doctor to confirm everything and ask a million questions. She confirmed, yes, I wasn't crazy...I was pregnant! I was getting ready to go to Indiana on a road trip with Amber so I had even more questions on what I should/shouldn't do and eat and my doctor patiently talked me through all my worries. From her first guess, my estimated due date was December 3, 2008 - my 28th birthday!!!

April 4-6, 2008 - Indiana with Amber. Awesome, classic road-tripping. She was the first person I got to tell face-to-face and it was so much fun to have one of those girly-squealy moments I'd been waiting so long for! The trip was good, but I was still in shock and focusing so much on the news. I couldn't enjoy the wine tasting we went to, but Amber let me sniff her glass.

Home Again - Brian and I spent a few days enjoying the news all to ourselves. We started to make a game plan for how we wanted to tell our friends and family. We knew we couldn't wait until Mother's Day, but our fathers both have a birthday in late April and it just seemed perfect to tell our parents then.

Until Wednesday....I started to have some of those scary symptoms that my doctor had talked to me about - but I hadn't really listened to her. I wouldn't miscarry. I'd waited too long for this baby. But, the symptoms were there anyways. We called our doctor, who put me on bed-rest - the symptoms weren't bad enough to go in to see him, but I had to wait and see if I got better or worse. Things seemed to get better after two full days in bed.

Saturday, April 12, 2008 - The worst day of our lives. I woke up in the morning optimistic. Then the signs that I'd been told to watch for - the signs that would mean that I was miscarrying - began. Normally, I can stay calm in a crisis....not this day. We called the doctor's answering service, and he called us right back. He urged me to go to the ER as soon as possible and said he'd be in touch with the staff there. I could barely think clearly enough to find clothes and brush my hair.

The only thing I could remember was to grab my Russian prayer ring that I usually wear on my right hand. It's inscribed with a prayer in Old Church Slavonic (pretty much a dead language) - "Lord save and keep me." That was all I could think in those moments as we drove to the hospital. I know Brian was talking to me, trying to keep me calm. And I know I was answering him. But, all I could think was, "Dear Lord, save and keep this baby."

The ER wasn't fun. It never is. The people were nice enough, I guess, but Brian couldn't be with me for the emergency ultrasound and that upset both of us. I couldn't hold back the tears - they were coming and going in waves. Finally, the verdict was in.....they couldn't give us a definite answer. According to "best estimates" by my doctors, I was 6 weeks pregnant, and my blood work and the ultrasound both showed that I clearly wasn't 6 weeks along. I was either 6 weeks pregnant and slowly losing the baby or I was only 4 weeks pregnant and everything was fine - any symptoms of a miscarriage were probably not anything to even think about. But, they couldn't give us an answer.

So, back at home, we didn't know what to think. Either we found out about the pregnancy really early on and everything was ok and I should just rest.....or the baby was alive, now was dead or dying and I was in for a long process of miscarrying. I had never been wracked with such emotional pain and guilt as I was that day - laying in bed, Brian next to me trying to console me and waiting on me hand and foot. I couldn't help but think that I had let this baby down - this innocent life that had done nothing wrong wouldn't get the chance to live because, somehow, I had made this happen or let this happen. And while my head knew that that wasn't true, I couldn't convince my heart to believe it.

April 14, 2008 - Back to the doctor - alone this time. More blood work drawn, more listening to a doctor talk about how sometimes miscarriages just happen and no one is to blame. I couldn't believe them...I felt like I was to blame. Still no final answer. Another night spent sobbing into my pillow.

April 15, 2008 - Back to the doctor - alone again. This time, another ultrasound. I didn't know what I was looking at on the screen, but I wasn't hopeful. The technician wasn't talking, I was crying - trying to cry silently. The technician evidently didn't know that why I was there. Finally I had to know - "Do you see anything?" "Oh, yes. Not a baby..." (my heart stopped for a second, I think) "...but there's the yolk sac, which becomes the placenta later. You're barely 5 weeks along so there's no way you'd be able to see a baby yet." I couldn't hold back my sobs. She asked if I was ok, handed me tissues and looked confused. I told her about the ER and how they didn't see anything there but didn't know how far along I was. She held my hand and told me, "You're fine. Your baby will be fine."

In the doctor's office after the ultrasound, the doctor actually hugged me! She said that she had been so concerned for me but that my blood work and the ultrasound were both perfect for 5 weeks along! We just found out 2 weeks earlier than we thought we did!! Although, we still weren't totally "out of the woods" - they told me to still exercise caution (but no more complete bed rest!) until we saw a heartbeat.

Relieved, I couldn't wait to tell Brian. When he got home from work, he hugged me in the kitchen for what felt like an eternity.

April 22, 2008 - Back to the doctor - with Brian. It's my dad's birthday and just two days after Brian's dad's birthday. After being cautious for a week, we'd been doing our best to not tell anyone our news yet. We really wanted to see a heartbeat first. In the dark ultrasound room, there was a little blur on the screen. I'm no expert, of course, but even I could tell that there was a big difference in how things looked from the week before!

Brian held my hand. There it was....a little flutter. Two lines of blur, coming together and separating so faintly, yet so quickly. The little heart was beating - a healthy 139 BPM. The baby measured perfectly for 6 weeks and 1 day old. Our little miracle!

(The blurry part on the left is the baby.)

The new estimated due date: December 15, 2008!

Brian feels like we got a "do-over" in the process, so he has affectionately nicknamed the baby "Mulligan".

So, since that day, we've told our families and some of our friends. It's been hard to try to find the time to tell people because we wish we could tell everyone personally. If we haven't told you ourselves yet, it's just because the opportunity hasn't presented itself.

My First Post

2006-07-14T02:10:00+02:00

This is the first post here and this is whats going on.I am doing well but today is soooooo HOT,and this sis something I could do without.My baby shower is this saturday and I can hardly wait,I wished that more ppl could come.I just called a friend I met at a past job and she lost my card and infact can't come.....she has to work.I have a few ppl coming and see some of the items on my list have been purchased.I also know that my sister has really cool stuff for me for the diaper bag game we are playing,the other games are sone I got from the net...like a nersery ryme game,scrammble and a clues to guess things associated with a baby body parts.I sure hope evryone has a good time and get to know Mark better,he is coming to the shower and spending the night with me.Then in september he will be here 2 weeks to help me with baby and that way he can spend time with us both.I know that bear my dog might be a little upset about sharing time with us and baby....I hope all goes well.The heat isn't easy let alone being pregnant too,I weent to the store to order the cake for the shower and the trip around the store tired me out so much.I made a blog on msn just for me and baby news and there is evn ultrsound pics to share.I have a few ppl reading and watching them I only wished they would post more but its cool they don't have to.Well I am off to take a shower and head to bed now,lots to do again tomorrow,Mark is coming and I want to clean up a bit for him.

Fresh Kids Funny Album

2006-07-13T11:48:00+02:00

See The Kids Album its Funny.Enjoy