Last posts on fun

Sarah Palin got punked!

2008-11-02T02:16:58+01:00

"A Quebec comedy duo notorious for prank calls to celebrities and heads of state has reached Sarah Palin, convincing the Republican vice-presidential nominee she was speaking with French President Nicolas Sarkozy."

[Stef Carse is a Canadian singer, not the Canada prime minister]

[Johny Halliday is a French singer, the Sarkozy's special American adviser]

[Nailing Palin is a porn title, not a documentary on Gov. Palin's life]

[Nicolas Sarkozy probably can't see Belgium from his house]

Yay! I'm almost ready 4 Halloween

2008-10-31T08:57:01+01:00

Online Tutoring

2008-08-14T08:44:03+02:00

With new technology and unique approaches being developedevery day, ONLINE TUTORING, create a truly interactive teaching and learning experience givingchildren help to catch up or get ahead in school, and help with homework. Woldme Onlinetutoring offers internet education program for children/students ages 5-12years old. We provide fully interactive tutoring in Math, Science, Social Studies and English Language andForeign Language. Our tutoring programs ensure your child can receive the samepersonalized attention and ensures thatthe skills your child acquires will constantly move them towards new andgreater challenges Woldme Offers:One on one tutoring for better interactionFlexibilityEasy Access24-hour availability of tutor Interesting andmotivating programs to stimulate child’s mindInteractive teaching and learning experiencePersonalized attention from the comfort of homeConvenience and QualityTutoring programs are customized to match the needs ofeach student Objectives: Inspired the kids to love learningKeep kids focus on progress with a motivational program Improve theirgrades and test scoresHelp kids do better in schoolProvide students a challenging, meaningful, and seamlesseducation that will help them in becoming lifelong learners and productivecitizens Please visit their sites:China: http://www.woldme.com/cn/International: http://www.woldme.com/

Let's meme

2008-06-10T16:25:09+02:00

I've been tagged by squib, whose blog I first encountered when I was searching for evidence that Shakespeare is an alien. What Was I Doing Ten Years Ago?- Taking the American History Regents (high school-level exam) four weeks after the American History AP (Advanced Placement, for college credit) and being told that if we failed the Regents after passing the AP we'd pretty much make fools of ourselves. - It was a really good day to ask me this question, because I clearly remember that we were celebrating my friend N.'s birthday by eating rum balls and standing in a circle in the middle of the street outside her parents' house late at night, freaking out the drivers who went by.- And, of course, I was getting ready to start a Creative Writing bachelors' at NYU. Oy vey.Five Snacks I Enjoy in a Perfect, Non-Weight-Gaining World- chocolate ice cream- cheesecake (esp. my own No Redeeming Value Pie)- funnel cake- pecan pie from Witches' Brew, where I haven't been in eleventy billion years- mascarpone browniesFive Snacks I Enjoy in the Real World- chocolate Italian Ice- Special K chocolate cereal- cheesecake (who can give up cheesecake?)- mascarpone brownies (cheese is important)- pretzelsFive Things I Would Do if I were a Billionaire- buy my dad the New York Mets- donate millions to causes that support women's rights to their own bodies all over the world- start a college fund for my not-yet-existent children and create a fund to allow economically disadvantaged students whose futures would benefit from higher education to college. - buy an apartment in Manhattan, a house in Lincoln Nebraska, and a jet so I can 'commute' to class- have Shakespeare brought back to life so we can settle some important questions ;)Five Jobs That I Have Had- Receptionist at NYU Law School (a job that ended when I came to work one day after a week's vacation and found that the building I worked in had been demolished)- Starbucks' barista- International Student Advisor- Academic manager for a test-prep company (a job for which I had two cellphones and a PDA)- University T.A./adjunctThree of my Habits- Twirling my hair- Three cigarettes a week (prior to returning to NY; now I'm at one a month ;))- Gambling: having been raised in a family who travels regularly to Atlantic City, I've managed to get myself comped at two casinos and I have memberships at five. I actually only play around $50 every three months, but am concerned that I am fast becoming known as the grad student who regularly gambles away her entire 'pocket change' paycheck. Five Places I Have Lived- Whitestone, Queens, New York- East Greenwich Village, Manhattan, New York- 24th Street, Lincoln, Nebraska- 23rd Street, Lincoln, Nebraska (moving across the street is always an adventure)- Bayside, Queens, New York5 People I am Tagging with this MemeI'm not sure that I know 5 bloggers who haven't been tagged yet with this meme. So here's the deal: if you're reading this, BOO! you've been tagged, and must post your answers on your blog under penalty of failing Freshman Comp. (I don't care if you've taken and passed Comp years ago; I can still arrange to have you retroactively failed.)

End of the Month Report: January Edition

2008-02-05T13:10:00+01:00

No, the title is not misleading you. I should have written this on the last day of January, but due to my hectic schedule (hehe), I’m posting it 5 days late. Anyway, enough with the excuses! I’m writing this post to relate to you the things that happened to me and around me for the whole month of January. Ja~, let me begin.

Family Reunion

(January 1) The Dizon clan had a reunion last January 1. ~~Sadly, Mylene and Sunshine were not there.~~ It is actually a yearly event, but it was my first time to attend after so many years. It was fun, although only a few attended the event. I myself didn’t want to attend at first, but I just have to see my lolo, whom I have not seen for almost two years until then.

New Year’s Resolution

(January 2) This is another yearly event… ahehe. The writing of resolutions, I mean. For the first time, though, I posted it in my blog. This way, I will always be reminded of the things I promised to achieve for the year. Too late did I realize that it was not too good of a choice. Among other things, it reminds me each time I visit this site how I failed just in the first month of the year!

Dev 1 Outing

(January 4) My original plan was to stay in Bicol until the 6th of January for my Christmas vacation. Due to this event, however, I had to cut it short. It was worth the sacrifice though, because we had one hell of an outing last January 4. And the location: Pansol, Laguna!!! Haha! So it’s the same old place where groups with minimal budget go to for a decent water fun. But it was fun, nevertheless. Dev 1 pipz pa. Makakahanap at makakahanap kami ng paglilibangan. Tired of the usual pool game of diving for a one peso coin, we made use of a potato for a game that quite resembles water polo (quite lang). Kawawang patatas. And the best part of it: my team won!!! In the minor-prize game, that is.

Happy Birthday To Me

(January 6) Yeah, I turned 25 on this day. And I just strengthened my position as one of the oldest in Dev 1. But it’s good to be 25, di ba Jamie? :D Well, thanks to the well wishers (yung mga nag greet through text, friendster at facebook). Thanks as well to the cake and balloons given by Hannah and Roda.

Visit of the Forces from Japan

(January 7) The Dev 1 team from Japan visited the Alabang site. At syempre, pag may bumibisita, laging may chocolates!!! But they were many during that day. Present were Sir Alvin, Sir Gauvs, Sir Alwyn, Eman, at iba pa (haha… sorry kung may nakalimutan ako, pero I think sila lang). And because they were many, kailangan may kainan. And so for that day, we had our fill of pizza, pepsi and sundae for our afternoon snacks.

New Project

(January 21) I’ve waited for the thing for a long time just to be overwhelmed by it when it finally arrived. My last project ended mid-October last year, and after that, I have been doing nothing in the office (except for the studies and researches that I was asked to perform, that is). I may have been idle for too long, because when the project came, I was caught unprepared. I am now in the design phase and currently, I am having problems completing the design. Sigh.

New Blog

(January-wide) Blogs, I mean. But none of them are mine. My brother has a new one. I’m thinking that he created it because they were required to create one at school :D Well, mas astig pa rin yung sa akin. Kahit basahin nyo pa! Hehe! Jowk!

Aside from my brother’s, I have also recently discovered the blog of Gel, my officemate. If you’ll visit his site, you’ll find there a picture of two hands held together. One is his and the other is… someone else’s (syempre!). Just in case they are still keeping it a secret (ewan ko lang kung kanino pa), I won’t give you the name of the girl. Mahirap na, baka magalit sakin yung batchmate ko. Haha! Sorry Gel, just can’t help it. :p

At eto pa, pahabol. I just recently found Neri’s blog. How? Through her yahoo messenger status message! :p It only has two posts in it (as of posting time), but if you need a great advice for losing weight, better visit her site. XD

Well, that’s probably all for the month of January. I’m posting this because I have been too lazy to post the individual events as they happened. I do hope mas marami akong time para mag-blog this February. Para naman maiwasan na yung mahahabang post gaya nito.

Creative Searching for Secret Information

2006-12-16T13:34:21+01:00

There used to be a time when nosy people would sit by the front window, half hidden from sight and looking out at what was going on outside, trying to figure out if the neighbors were fighting or if they got something new and the practice was generally looked down upon. Bringing that to the present we now have a new sort of snoop, someone that is able to find out more information about more people than the person that sat at the front window could have ever hoped to find out. They use the power of the Internet to look up personal information about their neighbors and friends by searching for things like TexasPublicRecords and VirginiaPublicRecords but to be honest they just look up information on anything they want to because that information is on the Internet in the form of public records. But what kind of things could you hope to look up online and just how personal can you get with that information.Well there are software programs out there than lump together all the best resources for information digging and you can find them everywhere for sale. The first thing that you will want to do is to open the program and do a search for things such as tax records and land sale records. This will give you some great information such as, how much did your neighbor pay for his house and how much are their taxes? You could also do searches for criminal records in your area or statewide by searching for something like WashingtonPublicRecords as well as finding out a list of the most wanted felons in your state. You can look up phone numbers and addresses of old friends and even do reverse phone number lookups to see who it was that just tried to call you. The list of what you can do goes on and on.So pick up a copy of the latest detective software to see what you can find out about your friends and neighbors. You will also be surprised to find out what there is about you on the Internet and you can even have some of it removed from the online records if you know where to ask. Yes, the snoop has gone high-tech and isn’t going back anytime soon.

Airline Pricing

2006-12-11T16:49:24+01:00

Here are some thoughts on the study of the theory of price wars as they relate to the industries like the Airlines and others. Comments on an article in Harvard Business Review in March-April edition 2000. The article was called 'How to Win a PRICE WAR'. Written by Akshay R. Rao, Mark E. Bergen and Scott Davis.They start out the article, that in the game of business, many tactics are used to ward off competitors. Increasingly PRICE is the weapon of choice. It talks about how the quest for market share and market dominance by continually lowering prices by each side of a price war can drive down Industry Profits. Oh Really? But who cares what the Industry does anyway. Is it not the consumer that pays for your dinner and youremployee’s kids college tuition? It sites the 1992 Airline wars Between American, Northwest and others as an example. The result was record air travel and record losses. Surely this example cannot be used in modern context, because at the time each airline was flying both McDonald Douglas, Boeing and Lockheed Aircraft. With Pratt Whitney and/or GE Engines. Similar in fuel consumptions, similar ticket distribution system, similar airport landing fees and similar customer base.Now to really win that war and decrease losses you would have to become more efficient in reservations, cut staff, more efficient in facilities, feeder airlines, scheduling, fuel consumption and in other services related to airline travel you were involved with. They did not, they simply engaged in a price war, to shake out the weak. Now for the consumer the lower prices were great, for the stockholder they were not. But they could have been. The authors site this as damaging the industry. An Industry that takes wartime aviation advances and a few years after to allow for the new technology to reach the private sector with new and efficient aerodynamics and electronic positioning and fuel allocation devices.If the MBA number crunchers would look at the real problems and design a superior system in the airlines at that time rather than always doing the obvious and previous chess moves then they might get an upper hand. Because necessity is the mother of invention. Price can drive the market and the winner in the most free of Friedman models would be that company which can innovate and adapt and US MARINE their way to the next level, like is such in the new digital economy. But airplanes only go so fast, there is friction, drag, lift, weight and thrust and that is all you can get right? Wrong. Remember when Chuck Yeager broke the Speed of Sound in the Bell X-1? It was impossible. And the Moon? Never! You see it is those who do not or will not push the envelope and not dare to risk that will lose in the price war. The Industry? Who cares about the Industry. Re-create it. An Industry is a boundary, so is the atmosphere, the copper cable lines, the ones and zeros that make up computer language. Industries set standards. Break them. Industry set limits, ignore them, Industries make experts. Challenge them. Industries print magazines and give advice, do not read it. Driving down prices in any Industry makes that Industry and forces the weak to either adapt or exit the market place.Their article is like saying that an Olympic athlete who works out too hard and sacrifices too much should slow down to 5-minute miles in the Marathon and let the other runners catch up. Hog wash. Or let the other basketball team score more points and put in your weakest players so that it makes the game look close? Why, Capitalistic markets dictate competition and competition dictates compelling reason to excel. I say take that challenge, deliver great quality, lower prices and raised standards. Oh Sure the Unions want everyone to get paid for as little work as possible, too, they do not want a wage war either. But a wage war might improve efficiency. Less work for may pay. Who does that help? Is that not a little short sided? All that does is reward inefficiency. We are to believe by this article that a price war hurts an Industry? Who says the Industry should be allowed to exist? The consumer or the Industry?Is Harvard Business School so hard up for articles that it will allow this type of content and flawed thinking into their reviews? Why should you reward an Industry and recommend against price wars? Should we then have price collusion and price fixing? That is the other option. A price war weakens Industries? Or does it keep them in check, and keep them from getting too fat, dumb and happy? Strong survive, free market economies are theoretically based on the evolution of business. Just because an Industry forms Associations and lobbyists and sets standards of price and quality, does not mean it should be allowed to garnish higher prices from consumers and not have market pressures of competition, especially the major market pressure of price, which will always be the great equalizer in the current system all businesses in the US operate under.One quote in the article is hysterical:PRICE WARS CAN CREATE ECONOMICALLY DEVASTATING AND PSYCOLOGICALLY DEBILITATING SITUATIONS THAT TAKE AN EXTRAORDINARY TOLL ON AN INDIVIDUAL, A COMPANY, AND INDUSTRY PROFITABILITY.Lots of big words guys, but this reader does not buy it. First off nobody said life was suppose to be stress free in personal life, business or otherwise. When you are born, during birth your body is under more stress moving through the birth canal than at any other time in your life. So forget about this easy ride thing. The strong survive. No athlete can expect to stay on top without hours of training, commitment, sacrifice and training. Nor should they be allowed to. Because world records are not won without competition and pushing of the envelope. Likewise no business should be allowed to operate at anything less than optimum efficiency. If they do they are lazy and they should be challenged, this helps the dynamics associated with a free economy.The airline example does not take into consideration some of the strides made by some of the then competing aaairlines. Continental Airlines instituted a fuel savings program to Pilots who were given a percentage of Lbs saved in fuel as a bonus. By cutting off the direct paths from station to station (VOR) they were able to save fuel and time in flight, thus able to lower cruising speeds, less drag on the hyperbolic curve and save millions each day in fuel. This came out of the price wars. Many other similar efficiencies also came out of those price wars.The authors then site the long distance charges war started by Sprint on weekends at 5 cents per minute and then matched by MCI and AT&T. Good for consumers and now we may see in a few years no long distance charges in Continental US. This hurt Industry profits. Yes, but so what. Consumers got a better deal, and if the phones companies were at the top of their game then they would have been able to offer those savings prior and not been caught off guard by Sprints move. Why did they already not offer these lower prices since they could have?What these authors and Professors did not mention is that the best way to win a price war is simple. Start the price war, but not until you are 100% at the top of your game. If you are at the top you can win a price war. But be active, not re-active. Be the price breaker, the ball buster, the Iron fist. Move to make the first blow, so deep, so hard, without falter and be ready to move, and adapt with the battle. Take what is yours because you are at the top of the game. Be ready to make unexpected moves at a split second and fire blow after usairlines. Be ready to break Industry norms, forget the rules, the perception of the Industry, disregard its experts, its leadership, its foundation. If you want to run at redline in a race with cars that go all the same speed and use only part of the track then go ahead. But this team and teams like it in various Industries all over will beat you.Because the first thing they teach us at racecar driving school is use the whole track. And if you are not in the unlimited class then you are controlled by weight, speed, size and timing. If you let others set your limits then the authors have a point, in all other cases they need to stop writing articles. Publish or Perish? Whatever guys, I guess if you cannot, you can always teach.I love price wars and we have never entered a market area, digitally or anologely, that we have not won when implementing a price war.Rule number one when competing for price. START THE WAR.Number two. BE READY TO ADAPT.Number three. BE THE BEST AND MOST EFFICIENT BEFORE YOU START.Number four. DO NOT FOLLOW ANY INDUSTRY STANDARDS OR SET ANY LIMITS.Number five. DO NOT HAVE A TIME LIMIT ON THE WAR. WAR IS HELL ASSUME IT LAST FOREVER.Number six. HAVE SUPPLIERS ON YOUR TEAM.Number seven. TELL THE WHOLE WORLD ABOUT YOUR PRICE CUT AND WHY.Number eight. RAISE STANDARDS OF QUALITY AND EASE OF USE FOR CUSTOMERS SIMULTANEOUSLY.Number nine. BUNDLE SERVICES RIGHT BEFORE YOU START THE WAR.Number ten. RUN THE PRICE WAR IN ALL AREAS AT ONCE.Number eleven. LOWER PRICES BY ONLY 60% OF WHAT YOU CAN, SAVING FORTY FOR LATER, WHEN THE REAL WAR BEGINS.Number twelve. HAVE CAPACITY RADY TO TAKE ON NEW CUSTOMER BASES AS COMPETITORS LEAVE THE MARKET.Number thirteen. CREATE A MASSIVE DIVERSION RIGHT BEFORE YOU START SO THEY WILL NOT SEE IT COMING.Number fourteen. GET THE INDUSTRY TO AGREE ON PRICES AND CUSTOMER SERVICE ISSUES BEFORE YOU ATTACK.Number fifteen. MAKE THE INDUSTRY DEFEND THEIR POSITIONS AND TRACK RECORDS.Number sixteen. HAVE INSIDER INFORMATION ON YOUR COMPETITION AND KNOW THEIR NEXT MOVE.Number seventeen. ADVISE YOUR COMPETITORS THAT THEY ARE BREAKING THE INDUSTRY NORM, EVERYTIME THEY LOWER SERVIC TO COMPETE ON PRICE, AND ALERT THE INDUSTRY NEWS.Number eighteen. GO STEATH-SILENT FOR THRE MONTHS PRIOR TO WAR.Number nineteen. MOVE SWIFTLY, AND ATTACK IN YOUR COMPETITORS MOST PEAK SEASON, RIGHT AFTER THEIR SLOWEST MONTH.Number twenty. HAVE BRAND NAME RECOGINITION TO CARRY YOU THROUGH.Number twenty one through twenty five and the most important of all. I CANNOT TELL YOU THESE.Many business books will tell you, you cannot have price or quality. BS-Have both, who says it has to be one or the other? The Experts, the professors, the Industry Leadership? Who cares what they think. Business Industry Leadership will say at the start of any price war,YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR! NOBODY CAN AFFORD TO DO IT THAT CHEAP.Yes but are you paying for what you are getting? That phrase is a simple cop out. And can no one there really not do it? Or are they admitting that they can not do it and are projecting their inferiority onto your company, like personifying an inanimate object. Nobody can keep up that Marathon pace. Good keep thinking JetblueAirlines. If you have inside information that this is occurring you are winning and should lower it again, because they will surely never catch up for lost ground or lost market share and you have the synergy and the power of presence on your side. This is how markets are won. A denial, and a sure sign that you have competition, who not only does not understand your Industry, but also cannot allow themselves to adapt. Pray for this scenario to take place, it is typical and means you are doing it right.Take a company for instance, which has Great prices, great service, great customer base, great image, on the leading edge of all aspects and more efficient than the nearest competitors. A company like SWairlines. So when they wage a price war on the competitors in our markets, who wins? The consumer number one. And Dell because the competition cannot participate in our price war. Overhead too high, and they refuse to break Industry ranks. All the while the consumers overwhelmingly choose Dell, not Gateway or HP-Compaq. Why. For all the same reasons above.There are Lots of great examples of case studies in the article, all out of context and few touch on any depth to prove any points, except that the authors are well read. I would challenge any of these authors to put money on any company any company in the PC business industry. PRICE WAR is the weapon of choice, it is the same as picking up the pace in a Spiritairline. If you are the better runner you leave everyone else in the dust, if you are not the best runner, it is your fault for not preparing or training tough enough in the life you lived for the decades leading up to that event. Be the best and start the war, raise the bar, raise the standards, pick up the pace and lower the prices, then be prepared to finish a marathon.

[Desserts]: Chocolate Snoopy

2006-12-02T22:20:00+01:00

Chocolate Cake with snoopy

1.white bread
2.ice the white bread about 5 mins
3.Just feel free to draw what you want with chocolate

Am dead bored and need a life

2006-10-28T10:35:15+02:00

Some quizzes I found at cosmopolitan.co.uk

Have fun!!

What’s your dating identity?

Bo the Multiple dater

You're a bit of an extrovert and like being single. You enjoy dating but don't want to tie yourself down, so you casually go on dates with several men until one really takes your fancy. However, things could become tricky when it comes to binning the ones who don't light your fire.

What’s your break-up style?

Bo the The Bottler

You're a private person, so when a relationship falls apart you'd rather find your own way through it than share the details with all and sundry. The fact that you can find it within yourself to cope with a split, or any kind of emotional crisis, is a sign of your strength. Remember, though: you need to let off steam when something upsets you, or you'll explode.

Play Online Games

2006-10-12T10:45:00+02:00

There are hundreds of wonderful sites where we can play online games. I used to use many of them, then narrowed the selection (and lessened the time spent to play online games) to three, then got hooked on one in particular. Boxerjam.com has unique games, really. This makes sense, as Boxerjam was one of the first places where web users could play online games. In the early eighties I recall being introduced to the internet by way of the Prodigy browser/ISP and with my surfing lessons came the blast of blasts—Strike a Match. I then graduated to Know-it-all and Mindstein. All these games are extremely challenging and equally fun. There was also a year or so when I played addictivegames.com, games that are also free and that number in the hundreds from which to choose.But then, then I discovered I could play online games for a few dollars a month (about 5 bucks a month when one buys a year’s membership), could compete, or could play alone (with robots), and could get a chance to win a jackpot! I need money. Not a lot, as I am one of simple needs, having reduced my user habits as much as possible but of course I need money to survive, and as a writer that means extra money besides the income that is for now quite limited. So I play online games at this site for fun, challenge, and catharsis, but always with an eye toward and a prayer for the few thousand dollars I COULD win.The site is called Pogo.com. It is absolutely the best place to play online games—and I am not saying so because I am affiliated in any way with EA Games (I’m NOT) or to get special chances for cash winnings. (I write this anonymously, as a ghostwriter.) I just say this because of the composition and evident positive effects of site.Here are a few details/reasons I find to play online games at Pogo.com:The draw of Pogo is stunning.300,000 Pogo players make 4.2 million uniques (unique visits) to www.pogo.com. Of this number, 75% are women of the average age of 35. Pogo members log on, chat with friends all over the world, and go for their weekly badges or the coveted jackpot by playing board, word, or action games, or casino-style cards or slots. The rooms where you can play online games at Pogo are filled with fun, funny, and nice folk from all over the world. They carry on conversations that are typically healthy, upbeat, and supportive of each other. (I recall during the deadly fires in southern California, a whole room of gamers coached a woman who was at home, surrounded by fires, on what to do and how to stay calm. So, she wasn’t even there to play games that day but was consulting her friends around the globe and reaching out for emotional support.) People play online games for many reasons, in other words. They do it for fun, for relaxation, for company, for support, for distraction (yes, many do so for this reason while they are at work!). They go to great lengths to connect every day with other players and with their favorite games. They do so during crisis, before crisis, after crisis, at work, after work, and even (as I have read many comment they do) before work, getting up hours early so they can play online games at Pogo. I don’t blame them. I would do the same if I could.

Fat Kid on Ride

2006-09-12T19:44:20+02:00

Quotes for Women about Men

2006-08-01T10:02:01+02:00

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there. 4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone. 5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway. 6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart. 7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. 8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

Die-Vorced

2006-07-22T09:24:53+02:00

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.The wife is behind the wheel.Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice."I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."The wife says nothing,Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it,"He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend,And she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet,But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55.He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.Up to 60. "I want the car, too," he continues.65 mph."And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?" The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice."No, I've got everything I need," she says."Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph,The wife turns to him and smiles."The airbag."Moral of the Story :Don't mess with WOMEN!!

Fresh Jokes Arrived

2006-07-17T10:29:33+02:00

Woman Top Lies1- I love u 2- I m virgin 3- I hate sex 4- U r first who is touching me 5- Ok, only onceA cricketer asks his wife on their First Night : " Darling did you like my shot between the two Fine Legs?"Wife Replies : "It was good shot but you are not the opening batsman"Q : Whats the difference b/w cricketer and condom?ANS : Cricketer drops the catch & condom catches the dropA man was travelling in the bus with lot many kids. A woman came to him and asked: "Are these your kids !!! ?" He Said : "Actually I deal in condoms and these are the complaints".A sexy girl goes to her boss and says : "Give me 500 $ and take tomorrow" Boss says : "Take 200 $ but give today"Our old friend Jessi's girlfriend says to him : "if we get engaged will u give me a ring ?" Jessi says : "SURE , whats your phone number?

Fresh Kids Funny Album

2006-07-13T11:48:00+02:00

See The Kids Album its Funny.Enjoy

Check this out ;-)

2006-06-26T18:05:00+02:00

Result surprising

http://www.ie7.com

LANGUAGE TEST!!!

2006-05-12T11:00:00+02:00

Diners eat meals but deserters don't eat dessert, the road that goes to town has never been there, I'm in a house and grandma's in a home, centimeters tall and inches long! nice rump but I'll have the breasts, steamrollers don't roll steam and irons are made of steel, your roots in Australia aren't your family, a wonder bra doesn't think, flyers and flags don't fly and leaflets aren't small leaves, cars run on petrol and people run on grass, sandshoes aren't made of sand, some pastas are people, do clowns taste funny to cannibals, never say you love kids in jail, a half moon can't be filled, summer time, spring time, winter time, autumn? boutique beers aren't sold in boutiques, and finally- WHY ISN'T A WEDDING CAKE A TALL ORDER?

Mad Month May ?

2006-05-02T07:09:03+02:00

Not sure what happened here, but here's my girl being "tuff" with her cousin who looks like he's just seen a ghost

Just Back

2006-04-10T09:54:47+02:00

Well. now that I'm unemployed I've been lounging around the pool with the Kid. And life is good. Got a great tan now and contemplating looking for work, but what the fuck, there's no hurry and the pool is cool! Cheers to all you

9 - 5ers

FRIENDLY FIRE

2006-04-05T10:10:00+02:00

The American Military recently test fired their innovative, new addition to their small arms inventory over Baghdad. The highly controversial M1A1 Friendly Fire Mini Gun, which spews out over 6000 rounds a minute and is helicopter mounted to allow for the supply of ammunition, will greatly improve the average GI's chances of scoring the much sought after Medal of Disgrace for killing allied combatants and civilians in the way of the all American traditional Yippee shoot for the Gung-Ho!

One of the good ol boys raking for fun

Repulsican Party Congress

2006-03-29T11:20:00+02:00

The Republican Party Congress (pictured below) met today to nominate their next candidate for president in the upcoming 2008 election campaign. The proceedings started with the usual fund raising calls and a lot of cold hard cash changed pockets. Then fund raising began for the 2008 campaign and that was warmly met by corporate americans eager to feather their already bloated nests. Then to the nomination........

Seniletors Entering the Conference

..........The first candidate to be nominated was none other than seniletor Georgio Bushio of Texas, (pictured below) an intellectually challenged drawling cowboy type favored for his resemblance to many South American presidents who have lots of oil to spare for american war machines............

Seniletor G Bushio

However, some seniletors objected on the grounds of over qualification and requested someone a little more simple. The mood swiftly changed when Seniletor Irwin Mealy-mouth of Bumfuck nowhere (pictured below) suggested Terminator I as the ideal man. "Just imagine the world wide blood bath we could have." He blurted excitedly........

Mealy-mouth smiles for the camera

.........The seniletors went absolutly wild, hollering and whooping while whipping imaginary horses and pretend riding around the hall. Several children present voiced their disgust at the fact that they too could become president one day with the support of this pack of morons. The meeting closed with an agreement on the election platform and the election 2008 slogan. "LETS ALL BANKRUPT THE NATION, DECLARE WAR ON THE THIRD WORLD AND IMPRISON ALL 11 MILLION ALIENS TOGETHER, AS AMERICANS, THE LAND OF THE FREE."

Recently captured aliens caught working

(of all things, "tut tut")

FRENCH BABY RIOTS

2006-03-28T15:00:00+02:00

I'm confused about weather to call this "FRENCH BABY RIOTS" or "FUCK THE FRENCH BABIES" anyway:

When a responsible parent knows it is time to upgrade, and the baby objects, and the parent is in the right, the baby will do what babies do: Kick, scream, cry, throw petrol bombs, shout, riot and generally become a pain in the ass to the nation "parent" , and more civilized nations observing the imature outbursts of a spoilt brat republic. However, such crying never lasts long and the benefits help all concerned in the long run. Patient parents win and reactionary, violent and self-protectionist protests from babies fail because the baby can't deny growth and development. Will my baby want to go to university in a nappy? HA BLOODY HA! Of course not.

WHEN WILL THE french BABIES GROW UP? THE REST OF THE WORLD DOES NOT CARE OR TO FOLLOW THE french EXAMPLE AS IT DISPCABLE BEHAVIOR FROM SPOILT BRATS. (SBS) SPOILT BRAT SYNDROME. A TOTALLY FRENCH DISEASE. "vive le bebie"

Democarrot Party Congress

2006-03-24T10:00:00+01:00

BREAKING NEWS

The American Democarrot Party (pictured below) met today to nominate a candidate for President and Commander in Chief of the USA for the impending election due in 2008. Some seniletors called for Hilariously Carrot of New York to take the post as she at least had a public profile known around the globe. Others wanted a more aggressive figure and called for Evander Holycarrotfield although no democarrots seemed to know of his political leaning. Eventually the meeting came to a close with no clear winner and the seniletors agreed to reconvene to resolve the issue at another luxury hotel soon.

Afterwards Mr Potato Head spoke to reporters anonymously and said he thought he stood a very good chance of winning the nomination contest as it was well known that spuds are far more popular than carrots all over the world. "Ask any kid!" He scoffed.

Mr Potato Head Scoffing.

BEANZ MEANZ

2006-03-24T08:15:00+01:00

American rocket scientists tested their prototype "Mach 6 Farty Bean Resistant Pilot" today just outside of Reality, Florida. This latest development sparked renewed speculation of the secret use of alien technology gathered from the Roswell crash site. "Now that the new genetically improved pilots have a greater tolerance we will be able to fly them at Mach 7 and bomb targets before we even know where they are" Quipped one of the boffins. Military officials refused to comment prior to being beamed up.

Foghorn #2

2006-03-23T08:52:16+01:00

"I-I-I know what you're gonna say son. When two halves is gone there's nuthin' left - and you're right. It's a little ol' worm who wasn't there. Two nuthins is nuthin'. That's mathematics son. You can argue with me but you can't argue with figures. Two half nuthins is a whole nuthin'."
"Lookit here son, I say son, did ya see that hawk after those hens? He scared 'em! That Rhode Island Red turned white. Then blue. Rhode Island. Red, white, and blue. That's a joke, son. A flag waver."
"You're built too low. The fast ones go over your head. Ya got a hole in your glove. I keep pitchin' 'em and you keep missin' 'em. Ya gotta keep your eye on the ball. Eye. Ball. I almost had a gag, son. Joke, that is."
"Okay, I'll shut up. Some fellas have to keep their tongues flappin' but not me. I was brought up right. My pa used to tell me to shut up and I'd shut up. I wouldn't say nothin'. One time darn near starved to death. WOULDN'T TELL HIM I WAS HUNGRY!!"
"Fortunately, I keep my feathers numbered for just such an emergency!"
"You're doing a lot of choppin', but no chips are flyin'"
"Boy's like a dead horse -- got no get-up-and-go..."
"Pay attention, boy! I'm cuttin' but you're not bleedin'!"
"Kid don't stop talking so much he'll get his tongue sun burned."
"Mutts - ah say - mutts is nuts!"
"I don't this kid's got all his marbles. Shakes his head when he means yes and nods when he means no."
"That boy's so dumb, he thinks a Mexican border pays rent!"
"I don't need your love to keep me warm, Widow Hen. I have my BANDAGES to keep me warm!"
"Say, boy, you cover about as much as a flapper skirt in a high wind."
"You've gotta be a magician to keep a kid's attention 'more than two minutes nowadays!"
"A sensitive mind won't stand being picked on."
"The dawg's busier than a centipede at a toe-counting contest."
"Hey Dawg! I've come to bury the hatchet! Ha, ha. Not in your pointed head, Boy. I've come to give a present!"
"The snow's so deep, the farmers have to jack up the cows so they can milk 'em!"

What!

2006-03-22T08:48:43+01:00

If a tank got that close to me before someone destroyed it I'd probably poo my pants

"Iraq Iran War"

Bagdad Taxis

2006-03-21T08:58:40+01:00

NOW OPEN !

BAGDAD TAXIS AND FAST DELIVERY MAIL CANNON

"KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOUR LOVED ONES FROM BEHIND THE COMFORT OF ARMOUR PLATE"

COMPETITVE RATES!

Back at The Grind

2006-03-21T06:21:52+01:00

That was a week I won't forget. First I put my back out and couldn't walk so off to the doc and she fixed that, then took the kid for a swim and she fell in the deep end and she can't swim yet. I dove in and saved her of course, but what got me was that she was over the shock in 3 minutes and it took me about 15 minutes to finally calm down. My best mate found his wife was the town bicycle while he was out truck driving. My contract ends at the end of the month (unemployed!). And the wife is pissed off at her job and I've got to hear about it every bloody day. AAAHhh yes, the simple life!

NOT TOO WELL

2006-03-14T08:56:52+01:00

I will be off line for a few days as my back is out and it's bloody killing me right now just sitting up. Thanks for all the comments on the scam bastards. If you want to know how it's done (find their IP) drop me a line in "comments" and I'll blog it

Foghorn Leghorn Quips

2006-03-09T10:54:07+01:00

"That boy is about as sharp as a bowlin' ball."
"Son, I said Son..."
"Now don't set the world on fire."
"Nice boy, but he doesn't pay attention to a word you say."
"I say!, I say!, The boy is bozerk!!"
"Clunk enough people and we'll have a nation of lumpheads."
"Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice."
"That woman's as cold as a nudist on an iceberg."
"She reminds me of Paul Revere's ride - a little light in the belfry."
"Gal reminds me of the highway between Ft. Worth and Dallas - no curves."
"As bare as a cooch dancer's midriff."
"Boy's like a dead horse - got no get up and go..."
"Hey boy, you cover about as much as a flapper's skirt in a high wind."
"She's tryin' to make a pantywaist out of that poor kid."
"That kid's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver."
"If kid don't stop talkin' so much he'll get his tongue sunburned."
"Well, barbeque my hamhocks!"
"That dog's as subtle as a hand grenade in a barrrel of oat meal."
"That boy's as strong as an ox, and just about as smart."
"Look sister, is any of this filtering through that little blue bonnet of yours?"
"You're doing a lot of choppin', but no chips are flyin'."
"I've got this boy as figgity as a bubble dancer with a slow leak."
"You look like two miles of bad road."
"That boy's just like a tattoo...gets under your skin."
"This is gonna cause more confusion than a mouse in a burlesque show!"

www.4-nicole.ws

WMD

2006-03-06T09:10:00+01:00

Americans caught in the act. Recent photo shows US troops deploying a Weapon of Mass Defecation, and using it to pee on the enemy.

Dancing Bar Closed

2006-03-03T09:55:00+01:00

Police shut down a river street bar here on Tuesday because the erotic pole dancing conflicted with national traditions. I closed it down because it caused a loss of tradition the police chief said. It was sexy and nobody allows dancing like this he added.

With young women clad in bikinis and sequins, fake furs, high heels and stage props the bar was the closest thing to a strip club, except the women did not remove any clothing, the owner claimed. He added that there was no naked dancing only sexy dancing,

But the bar’s manager, a not too bright bulb, quipped that this month some of the women had danced topless late at night for tips.

Though sexy dancing bars are not allowed, the city is virtually overflowing with hundreds of brothels and massage parlors that always have a happy ending

www.4-nicole.ws

IRAN AND IRAQ

2006-03-02T10:20:00+01:00

STRANGE AS IT MAY SEEM IRAN AND IRAQ HAD A DIRTY LITTLE WAR FOR TEN YEARS. HERE ARE SOME PHOTOS. NOW THEY CANT SEEM TO MUSTER ENOUGH CONVICTION TO CONTROL THEIR OWN REBELS. WHERE DID THEY GO WRONG?

www.4-nicole.ws

Bang Stick Bang

2006-02-27T09:30:00+01:00

While conducting a small arms shoot with 308 cal SLRs, a young soldier raised his foot in the laying position to indicate a problem with something. My opposite, who was supposed to know about weapons, asked what was wrong. The soldier said his weapon fired, but it didn't sound right. The NCO said keep firing and the soldier said no. So the NCO threatened to put the young guy on a charge for disobeying a lawful command.

So then I interviened. Whats wrong I asked. The guy said the same thing to me, so I said to unload and clear the weapon. He did that. Then I told him to take his weapon to the Tech Support Team and get it checked.

After the shoot was over and everyone was resting and cleaning, the young soldier came to me and said thank you Bombadier. They found a round had stopped half way down the barrel and you saved my life. He was right. If a round blocks the barrel the next round will explode the whole rifle in your face. And thats enough to stop anyone from thinking about sex for a while!

www.4-nicole.ws

They Suck...

2006-02-26T07:50:00+01:00

Exams
Ink Pens
Winter Season
Tushar Kapoor
My Neighbour
Windows 95
Series 40 phones
B/W phones
Winter Season
Bathing (but i do bath daily)
Rains
My barber
George Bush ;)
Accidents
My broken leg
Deskjet Printers
DVDs
Manmohan Singh
Wars
Reliance India Mobile
Cihuahuas
Mosquitoes
Kurt Angle
Soap Operas
.cgi Scripts
Scooters
Romantic Films
Dial Up Connections
My College
DejavuWap.com
Internet Explorer
Quick Time Player
3gp files
C language
BSNL
CDMA

Well, there are many more things but i can only remember this much now!!

REY!

That's Enough

2006-02-24T09:56:34+01:00

That's enough of the dickhead spam crowd. I've better things to think about. I'm off for the weekend but will post a beauty about a friend on monday.

www.4-nicole.ws

HiTech Kitties!

2006-02-24T06:39:53+01:00

REY!

SCAM SPAM #4

2006-02-23T09:00:29+01:00

HERE WE GO AGAIN.....MORE SHITE FROM THE THIAS

MAN THESE BOYS OR BORING, I MIGHT JUST SPAM THEM BACK

EUROPEAN PRIZE AWARD DEPT.
TEL:+44 704 010 4221
FAX:+44 707 516 7738

BONANZA 2006!!!
This is to Notify you of the release of the lottery
winning, held on the 25th of January 2006.
Due to the mix up of numbers, the results were
released on the 1st of February, 2006. Your e-mail
address attached to ticket number: 7-1-8-36-4-22 under
agent ID: 18 and lucky ball number 7363789,which
subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd category

You have therefore been qualified for a lump sum
payout of 860,641.28 Great British Pounds(GBP) which
amounts to $1,500,000.00 (One Million,Five Hundred
Thousand United States DOLLARS) in cash, drawn in your
favor, as the soul beneficiary and covered with the
highest level of Insurance policy called the
IRREVOCABLE GUARANTEE OF PAYMENT BOND

Due to mix up of some names and winning number, we ask
that you keep your winning information confidential
until your claim has been processed and your money remitted
to you, in your perspective country. Because this is
part of our new security protocol to avoid double
claiming and forgery of winners identity in this
program by some unscrupulous persons.

This lottery was organized by an association of
software manufacturers who came together from all
parts of europe including Great Britain,Spain,The
Netherlands and Belgium which are the major host
countries.All participants were selected through our
Microsoft computer ballot draw system, were we
extracted over 20,000.00 companies
and 3,000,000 individual email addresses and names
from all over the world.

To begin your lottery claim, please contact your
Fudiciary agent below that has been appointed for the
processing of your claim with the email address below:

Mr.David Nelson
TEL:+44 704 010 4221
FAX:+44 707 516 7738
EMAIL:infomationdavid@netscape.net

Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and
complications please remember to quote your WINNING
NUMBER in all correspondence.

Warning: All winners are to claim their winning prize
in not later than 1 week (7 days) of their winning
notification.

Winners are to contacts us to confirm thier winning
through the phone number displayed before sending an
email.This is done to aviod forgery and impersonation
of winners information and ticket number.
This is also to inform winners that there are so many
email letter all over the internet faking to be real,
so be warrned!!!

Note: That you are to respond to all the necessary
procedure involved in collecting your prize ,and if
you are not interested in claiming your prize,you are
advised to draft this office your REFUSAL LETTER
indicating that you are not interested in your winning
prize and it should be used for the next stake.
Furthermore, should there be any change of address do
inform our agent as soon as possible.

The online promotion lottery company is proudly
sponsored by a group of succesfull bussiness men all
over the world.

Internet draw is held once in a year and it is
organized, because we want to encourage the use of
Internet around the globe and we are beginning this
year with this $1,500,000.00 as it is like a WELCOME
TO 2006.

And we are proud to say that over 50 Million DOLLARS
are won annually in more than 150 countries worldwide.

We wish you a hearthy congratulation once again.

Your Sincerely,
Mrs.Becky Owen
For Management
NOTE: ANY BREACH OF CONFIDENTIALITY ON THE PART OF
ANY WINNER WILL RESULT TO DISQUALIFICATION!

DRUM ROLL...TAKE AIM.............FIRE!

person:

Kittipan Sri-bua-iamnic-hdl: KS363-APe-mail: kittipan@proen.co.th

address: Proimage Engineering and Communication Co.,Ltd

phone: +662-639-4888

fax-no: +662-639-7788

country: TH

changed: kittipan@proen.co.th 20030326mnt-

by: MAINT-NEWsource:

APNICperson: Manrat Chobchuennic-hdl: MC10-APe-mail: manrat@am-it.com

address: 72 CAT Telecom Tower,Bangrak,Bangkok,10500,Thailand

phone: +66-02-639-7999fax-no: +66-02-639-7892

country: TH

changed: manrat@am-it.com 20030730mnt-by: MAINT-NEWsource: APNIC

SCAM SPAM #3

2006-02-22T09:20:00+01:00

NOW IT SEEMS THE IDIOCY HAS SPREAD TO ANOTHER COUNTRY.

CHECK OUT THIS CRAP!!!

  Hello Friend,
 Hope you are doing great and sound? 
 I am  Barry Elliot the family attorney to late Sir Mark Stephanopoulos,

 a Greek Merchant otherwise known as my client who was based in the 
United Kingdom and died of complications from injuries sustained after a

 ghastly motor accident. As the attorney to Sir Mark Stephanopoulos I was his

 confidant as he shared with me virtually everything about himself, his business and

 family. I was his attorney for 15years and during that period I wrote his WILL and

 was also named as the executor, which has since been fulfilled. I am also aware due

 to my closeness to him that the amount Ten Million Pounds he deposited with a bank

 in Europe was not willed out. He told me about this on his sick bed and even

 instructed that I should prepare a codicil to that effect, however before I could

 finish my work he died.

    BLAH BLAH DRIBBLE CRAP

 NameS

 Address 
Date of Birth 
Telephone and Fax numbers

 Upon receipt of a confirmation of acceptance from you a sharing ratio

 would be worked out between the three of us and communicated to you

 along with my telephone number.in the light of above, your positive

 responses would be appreciated through my email

 (attorney_barryelliot@yahoo.co.uk)

 Take care and have a nice day.

 Sincerely,

 Barry Elliot

 Kentwood Associates.

    DRUM ROLL PLEASE...........AND THEY ARE.. 
 person: Kittipan Sri-bua-iam
 nic-hdl: KS363-AP
 e-mail: kittipan@proen.co.th

 address: Proimage Engineering and Communication Co.,Ltd
 phone: +662-639-4888
 fax-no: +662-639-7788
 country: TH
 changed: kittipan@proen.co.th 20030326
 source: APNIC
 person: Manrat Chobchuen
 nic-hdl: MC10-AP
 e-mail: manrat@am-it.com
 address: 72 CAT Telecom Tower,Bangrak,Bangkok,10500,Thailand
 phone: +66-02-639-7999
 fax-no: +66-02-639-7892
 country: TH
 changed: manrat@am-it.com 20030730
 mnt-by: MAINT-NEW
 source: APNIC

SCAM SPAM ALERT #2

2006-02-20T08:45:00+01:00

  Kindest Attention:
 My name is .Mr. Boulos Kasstrup I am a portuguese, I have been 
   
diagnosed with Esophageal (THROAT) cancer. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it

  Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to

  my immediate and extended family members as well as few close friends .I want God to

  be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give alms to charity

  organizations and those in Need, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I

  do on earth. So far, I have Distributed money to some charity organizations when I

  was well. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself

  anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute

   the money which I have there to charity organization in United States, Asia, Middle

  East & Europe, they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust

  them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.

  The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Twenty Million

  United States Dollars ($20, 000, 000.00) that I have with a bank in the United

  Kingdom (UK). I will want you to help me to withdraw this deposit and dispatch it to

  charity organizations and use it to help those in Need.

 N/B: Kindly note that 40% of this funds must go to victims of Tsunami, 
Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Wilma and South Asia Earthquake , 55% to 
other Charity Organizations around the World and 5% for your effort and time.

 I cannot talk with you on the phone due to my health situation, as I am using my

  Lap Top Computer to communicate with you. You should respond to this e-mail if you

  are interested in carrying out this assignment on my behalf. Send your response via

  e-mail at: engr_ibe1@latinmail.com

 God be with you.
Mr. Boulos Kasstrup

  AND THE REAL SENDER IS:  "DRUM ROLL PLEASE"

 IP Host:           213.181.83.68
ISP:              BT LIMITED
COUNTRY:                NIGERIA.

 YEAH! RIGHT ON DUDE, HERE'S MY BANK DETAILS SO I CAN HELP

 YOU POOR GOD FEARING SON OF A BITCH